Lovely people, we are in October already and my theme for this month is Acceptance.
I kicked the month off with my first ever Instagram Live (so nerve wracking but so worth it!) and talked all about the Three Steps to Acceptance. If you missed it, you can still catch it on my IGTV – just follow @whatcomesnextcoaching for all my updates.
In continuing with this theme, I wanted to share a blog post about how to accept yourself, particularly after cancer treatment or if you have a chronic illness.
This is such an important part of the work I do with my clients. How you view yourself has a huuuge impact on your confidence and accepting yourself is part of that. So get ready because we’re diving right in.
Take ownership of your situation
We all have things in our life that we can and can’t control. For instance, you can’t control the weather or your work colleagues or your train being delayed.
The one thing you do have total control over is yourself. Your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviours, your emotions – you have authority over all of those things. Once you realise that, you can start to take some ownership over whatever situation you find yourself in.
If you’ve just finished cancer treatment, recognise that you now have the power to move forward in the way you want to. Your life is there for the taking. When you start to take ownership of your situation, you begin to feel empowered.
And that’s the best place to start accepting yourself.
Notice your negative thoughts
You know what I mean. That pesky little voice in your head that says ‘I can’t do that’, ‘I’m not good looking enough for that person’ or ‘I don’t deserve this kindness.’
That voice is just your brain trying to protect you from getting hurt, by holding you back. It knows you’ve been hurt in the past and it doesn’t want you to go there again. But what you need to say to that voice is ‘Be gone!’ because otherwise, it’ll be holding you back forever.
Recognise when those negative thoughts come up for you and turn them on their head. Tell yourself ‘I CAN do that’, ‘I’m MORE than good enough’, ‘Of course, I deserve this kindness.’
Change your negative thoughts for positive ones and change your story.
Take good care of yourself
We’re all so busy these days, we don’t take enough time just focusing on ourselves. Sloooow down. Take some time out to meditate, journal, take a warm bath, catch up with an old friend. Whatever you need to make yourself feel better, do that thing.
Learning to accept yourself means spending time with yourself & getting to know what you need to rest and recharge. Don’t fill your time with distractions. You need to understand yourself so that you can start to accept yourself, just as you are.
Build a strong support network
Have you ever heard the saying that you’re a combination of the five people you spend the most time with?
Well, if you’re spending time with people who put themselves down a lot, or even put you down, you’re going to find it harder to get out of those negative thoughts we talked about earlier.
You need people around you who build you up and help you feel like you can take on anything. You need people who will pick up the phone and listen to you when you’re anxious or feeling down. If you’re not surrounded by the right people, seek them out by joining support groups or chatting to people online.
I’m here if you ever want to chat. Just send me a message using the form below & I’ll get back to you 🙂
Care less about what other people think
And finally, tell yourself that what other people think of you is none of your business. Because it’s not. What they’re saying is their problem built on their own view of the world, not yours.
We all like to be liked and we like to fit in – it’s in our tribal nature. But we can get hung up on it and worry ourselves too much over other people’s opinions. Realistically, those people probably aren’t even thinking about you that much. Honestly, how long do you spend thinking about other people’s lives?
When you start to accept yourself as a human being with all your flaws, you’ll start to worry less about what other people think. But until then, tell yourself that you’re not afraid of anyone or anything – you’ve been given a second chance at life & you’re going to use it!
Let me know what works for you,